I feel so horrible, so I decided to write exactly what I felt. May that put a remedy on the wound in my soul.
Dreams; I guess they're not always a good thing. This function of compensation they have...this can be misleading somehow. Suppose you want something much, so, you dream about it. Now, you cannot behave the same way you did before, you expect something to have changed where it has not. And this makes a problem; You're no longer in the state of disappointment you were before about achieving that something and when you see the same patterns repeated, that hurts more. I was hurt this way today. Expectation; I guess that's what hurt me this much. I should not have expected any change.
And for the sake of the peace in my mind, let me write something. Let me spill it out, I guess I somehow still want something I wanted in the past. Although I have doubts, I still want it. I think I have no doubts if I do want it, I just doubt whether I should want it or not. And losing it; I want to know why losing this seems so hard and hence did never happen. I guess the thing has come to be a part of me. Losing this feels like losing a dream. A dream you had since you were a child, since you were what you are. It's just so hard.
Dreams; I guess they're not always a good thing. This function of compensation they have...this can be misleading somehow. Suppose you want something much, so, you dream about it. Now, you cannot behave the same way you did before, you expect something to have changed where it has not. And this makes a problem; You're no longer in the state of disappointment you were before about achieving that something and when you see the same patterns repeated, that hurts more. I was hurt this way today. Expectation; I guess that's what hurt me this much. I should not have expected any change.
And for the sake of the peace in my mind, let me write something. Let me spill it out, I guess I somehow still want something I wanted in the past. Although I have doubts, I still want it. I think I have no doubts if I do want it, I just doubt whether I should want it or not. And losing it; I want to know why losing this seems so hard and hence did never happen. I guess the thing has come to be a part of me. Losing this feels like losing a dream. A dream you had since you were a child, since you were what you are. It's just so hard.
1 comment:
People come into and go out of our life without leaving a foot print. But there are someones who come and when they leave we are not the same anymore!
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